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Showing 101 to 150 of Total 179 Items
101. True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.
102. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
103. Love doesnât drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.
104. rites back an emoji â no matter what that emoji is, they donât love you back.
105. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.
106. I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.
107. I love being married. Itâs so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
108. If you text âI love youâ to a person and the person writes back an emoji â no matter what that emoji is, they donât love you back.
109. Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
110. My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they donât really know me.
111. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, youâre in.
112. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
113. Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need years before you can call yourself a beginner.
114. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
115. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
116. My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me⊠Never getting it back.
117. In my house Iâm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
118. Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.
119. A guy knows heâs in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
120. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
121. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
122. Love is a lot like a backache: it doesnât show up on X-rays, but you know itâs there.
123. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
124. My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
125. I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
126. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
127. Women love a self-confident bald man.
128. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
129. My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships nowadays.
130. If she happens to fall, Iâll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.
131. The great question which I have not been able to answer⊠is, âWhat does a woman want?
132. You canât put a price tag on love. But if you could, Iâd wait for it to go on sale.
133. In any perfect relationship men should remember itâs a matter of direction; she takes whatâs right and you take whatâs left.
134. Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.
135. My wife and I were happy for 20 years
136. Love is like finding a needle in a haystack.
137. Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
138. Weâre like Romeo & Juliet.. Except for the dying part of course.
139. You are the pain in my butt, the dent in my wallet and the scratches in my brand new car that I donât mind.
140. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, youâll be happy. If you get a bad one, youâll become a philosopher.
141. In love, somehow, a manâs heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
142. When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I donât answer because Iâm eating.
143. When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
144. The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history.
145. Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
146. Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
147. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
148. The more she turned right the more I turned wrong.
149. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
150. If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.