Funny Love Quotes and Jokes | Funny Boyfriend Girlfriend Quotes

51. If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.

52. My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day until I met you.

53. Don’t feel bad if you see your ex with someone else. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don’t need to the less fortunate.

54. I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole.

55. You will always be my 11:11 and the name I write in my naughty list.

56. Girls cry their eyes out until they are dry, while boys drink their beers until their mugs are all dried up.

57. I wish there’s a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go and slow down when I took this road of falling in love.

58. I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night and your most painful goodbye.

59. Stop waiting for your prince in a white horse. Go and find him. The poor bastard might be lost, stuck in an island or something.

60. To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.

61. Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms.

62. My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.

63. When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.

64. Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.

65. Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

66. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

67. My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

68. Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

69. I had a dream that i still loved you. I think I woke up screaming.

70. Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills.

71. My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan!

72. I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.

73. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

74. It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.

75. I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.

76. A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.

77. People should fall in love with their eyes closed.

78. If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person w

79. A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

80. What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.

81. If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.

82. Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.

83. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

84. You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.

85. Loss for words? Give that person a hug. It’s worth a thousand and more. Plus, it’s free.

86. You’re the cheese on top of my spaghetti, the cream on top of my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake.

87. You are the cause why my eyeglasses fog.

88. A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer and the corniest person in the room.

89. I want someone who will pause his game just to answer my call.

90. You’ll know a person is in love when he can laugh like a fool by himself and keeps a goofy smile plastered on his face all day long.

91. Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.

92. A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

93. Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.

94. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?

95. If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.

96. Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.

97. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

98. My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.

99. My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor

100. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.