Showing 1 to 44 of Total 44 Status
1. I've found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
2. We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
3. Give me food and a pc with internet connection and you wouldn't hear about me for ages.
4. Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
5. Please donate some money as I want to buy a new smart phone so that I can continue posting on the page on the go.
6. The movie ABCD should have been named YBCD coz i clearly heard PrabhuDeva saying "Yeni Body Can Dance".
7. Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens.
8. I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger. :')
9. Hello, modeling agency? Yes! Umm.. I just got 37 likes on my new profile pic, I think I'm ready to go pro.
10. When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before your phone does.
11. It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry :)
12. I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)
13. There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh
14. Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
15. I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ;)
16. My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
17. The only thing I gained so far in 2013 is weight :)
18. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
19. TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED :)
20. I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. :)
21. Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
22. I'm so poor I went to KFC today to lick people's fingers.
23. I accused my friend of being gay yesterday... He was so angry he hit me with his purse.
24. I love my ringtone so much, but when it rings in public, I get so fucking embarrassed..
25. I hate when my friends look great in large size clothes... and I always look like a bean bag.
26. Standing in the shower thinking...I really need a chair in here.
27. When you first joined Facebook you never thought this shit would be this addictive.
28. When ur GF blocks u on fb... . Its called an electronic divorce.
29. I fucking hate when I write a Facebook status and some idiot comments ..I don't get it.
30. At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
31. Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
32. I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
33. It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.
34. When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
35. Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D
36. Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
37. That awkward moment, when people ask: Are you a couple? And you look at each other and wait who's going to answer first.
38. We all have someone's phone number in our phone and they have no idea we have it!
39. 26 missed calls from Dad: Lol, whatever. 1 missed call from Mum: Fuck
40. God made us all different. But when he got to China he thought ...Fuck it. Copy, paste, copy, paste.....
41. Me: This movie isn't even scary. Girlfriend: Its based on a true story! Me: OMG that's some scary shit.
42. Movies are shit, I started dancing at the vegetable market today and not one joined me.
43. That moment when even Caps Lock can’t express your anger.
44. In a dictionary, first comes divorce, then marriage