Add fun and happiness in your life with the best Funny Quotes, Funny Quotes about Life, Short Funny Quotes and Funny Friendship Quotes. Funny things are very important in life, they keep you light and fresh. Short Funny Quotes keeps you and your family smiling and happy. Share the best Short Funny and Stupid Quotes with your best friends on whatsapp.
Showing 451 to 474 of Total 474 Items
451. Can you hear that? That’s my pillow calling and it becomes really mean when I let it wait too long.
452. I think you deserve a standing ovation … of my longest finger!
453. What would you, as an uninvolved party, say on the topic of intelligence?
454. When a bird hits your window, how do you know God isn’t playing Angry Birds with you?
455. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
456. When people tell me “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep in until noon because I’m a problem solver.
457. When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
458. When you’re calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer.
459. Whoever said “nothing is impossible” clearly never tried slamming a revolving door.
460. Yes, the early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
461. You are so fake, even China doesn’t want to be associated with you.
462. You can go anywhere you like; you must only look serious and carry a clipboard.
463. You can only be young once. But you can enjoy being infantile forever.
464. You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.
465. You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
466. You have to excuse me, I suffer from emotional constipation. I really can’t give a shit.
467. You just have bad luck when you think.
468. You look just like I feel…
469. You may have one but that doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
470. You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s possibly because there’s more manure there!
471. You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.
472. You were the only child in your family to be given up for adoption.
473. You won’t find any brains back there.
474. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death.